


Feelings

by Badassium1970



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom, Starbomb
Genre: Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Ninja Ship Party, Pining, Polygrumps, ShipGrumps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8187992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badassium1970/pseuds/Badassium1970
Summary: Brian thinks Arin has a crush on Dan, or they might already be in a relationship.





	

When Brian moved out to L.A. he was ecstatic. It was a difficult choice, but in the end he knew it was right, even if everything blew up in his face at least he would be happy, and Dan would be there to. Taking that factor into account Brian really hoped that everything worked out because he would hate to see Dan upset because the band didn’t work out, although now that he was on Grumps the band was picking up new fans and were in a better place than ever, but there was always that chance that something would go wrong.  
Luckily in terms of the band things went great, to the point where now they were playing massive shows, bigger than they’d ever played before. The show was going great to and when Brian joined he was greeted with positive reactions.

There was only one real problem Brian had, Arin.

Okay well when it was worded like that it sounded worse than it actually was. Brian loved and respected Arin a lot, without him there’s no telling where he and Dan would be right now. Thinking about it maybe it was Brian that was the problem, something he should have dealt with a long time ago, or should have tried to get over.

The moment Brian met Dan he knew the younger man was special. There was just something about him that instantly drew Brian to him. When they started working together more often Brian realised that he was promptly falling in love with his bandmate and best friend. He tried to stop it but there was nothing he could do. Even when he moved away to carry on with his job in theoretical physics all he could think about was Dan and when he’d be able to see him face to face again and be around him.

Brian always treasured that time but it was hard, and he could see that Dan thought it might be the end. It was like every time Brian visited Dan expected him to end everything they had built together.

Now they no longer had to worry about that, and the pair were closer than ever, which meant that Brian’s feelings for Dan were stronger than they had ever been.

That’s sort of where the whole problem with Arin came in.

Yes, Brian knew that Dan was probably the straightest person he knew, but that seemed to change when he started doing the show. When Brian had made jokes about giving him a blow job Dan would get slightly uncomfortable and insist for several minutes that he wasn’t gay and Brian wasn’t either. Brian had never told Dan about his crush, and since Brian was also interested in women Dan wasn’t wrong so Brian didn’t feel any need to correct him.

With Arin on the other hand Brian noticed that Dan was much more willing to go along with whatever advances he made, and maybe it was for the show, Brian tried to convince himself that but then he was around them more in person and they acted the same way. It seemed almost like they were flirting, or at least Arin was flirting with Dan and Dan didn’t seem to mind, yet when it was Brian he still seemed wired about it.

Through being around Arin for a year Brian found that Arin didn’t seem to actually have any interest in dating Dan, but Brian was still suspicious. Maybe he should have just let it go, Arin was in a dedicated relationship with Suzy and it wasn’t like every couple had an open marriage, just because Brian did he shouldn’t expect his friends to have the same ideas about love.

Even knowing that Arin would never love anyone as much as he loved Suzy, nor would he date anyone else, Brian still found it hard to contain how frustrated he was, especially during lunch one time when Arin gave Dan a kiss on the cheek and Dan just joked about actually making out with him. Brian wondered how Dan would react if he kissed him. It probably wouldn’t go well.

More incidents like that happened, and Brian’s jealousy and frustration just grew until he couldn’t stand to be around the pair, he didn’t want to see Arin and felt uncomfortable around Dan because all he wanted was to tell him how he felt but at the same time he didn’t want to risk everything they had built together.

Brian knew he had to put a stop to this because it was becoming a real issue which would soon effect all of them and Brian didn’t want to be the reason everything crashed and burned, then again there was the possibility that would still happen, but Arin was understanding, he also wouldn’t tell Dan anything that was said, he wouldn’t tell anyone. Brian could trust Arin.

They were meant to record that day. Everyone else was out. Dan had been feeling ill lately so Arin was making him take a few days off, insisting that they had enough videos backlogged so he didn’t have to worry. Ross was at home animating as it was easier for him to do it at home until he got his own space in the office. Barry had gone to visit his family. Suzy was at home working on videos for her channel. Kevin was finishing up some work at home for his new job, it was sad that he was leaving but everyone was happy for him. Matt and Ryan were working on videos for their channel at their apartment, but they would soon start recording at the Grump space.

Brian went through the recording without bringing anything up but Arin could tell something was on his mind. The episodes still turned out well though, Brian was nothing if not professional. When they finished Arin waited for Brian to bring up what was on her mind.

“So um Arin, I need to talk to you about something.” Brian felt nervous, the room felt hot, which honestly it always was, even in the winter.

“Sure, what’s up?” Arin smiled, trying to make Brian feel more comfortable, however Brian just felt worse. He worried that he may upset Arin, might ruin everything, but he knew that he had to do this. Brian needed to know Arin’s feelings.

“Arin, stop flirting with Danny. Please.” Brian held his head down in shame. He didn’t want to see how Arin responded.

Arin was surprised. He hadn’t expected that. For a minute he thought Brian was hinting that Dan maybe had a crush on him and Arin was giving him false hope. Then he thought back to how Brian acted around Dan, how things had changed over the year. The jealous looks, the longing glances, it all made sense now.

“Why should I Brian? Why don’t you want Dan and I to be together?” Arin wanted to make sure he was right in his assumption.

“Because being around someone I can’t have for close to ten years has made me selfish.”

Hot shame crept up Brian’s neck, his face growing hotter. He should have expected this. Should have known Arin loved Dan. He wondered if they actually were together. It hurt. Why couldn’t he be happy for his friends. Was he just a horrible person?

Arin didn’t expect that. Yes, he figured that Brian had a crush on Dan, but he didn’t think that crush had been there for around ten years. How Brian had bottled that up for so long Arin didn’t know, but he felt sorry for him. Arin couldn’t imagine hiding his love for Suzy for that long, being away from her for over a year was hard enough.

“Bri, I… I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

Brian sighed. At least he had gotten it off his chest, and Arin hadn’t reacted terribly to it. Now all he had to do was worry about how things would be between them know he knew. Would they be able to work together? If things got awkward would he have to leave the show? Would Starbomb end?

“It’s fine, I should have gotten over it years ago. I just hope you guys are happy together.”

“Bri, I… I’m not into Dan that way, seriously, and he doesn’t feel that way either.” Arin felt terrible for trying to get Brian to admit things by fake confrontation. It was also strange to see Brian to defeated, it hurt to see him this way when he was always so composed.

“You… you don’t?” Brian didn’t quite believe that, especially not the fact that Dan didn’t have a crush on Arin.

Arin shook his head and gave Brian a kind smile, before embracing him in a bear hug, which was when Brian lost it. He silently cried into Arin’s chest, which Arin found strange yet in an odd way amazing since he’d never seen Brian cry and he still hadn’t seen Brian cry but he could feel it.

Brian felt a lot better after crying. It had been ten years and he hadn’t let himself show any sadness, even when he was alone just in case someone saw. He felt a little bit of shame and embarrassment, and was glad that he didn’t sob or ugly cry.

The stayed in comfortable silence, Arin’s arms were getting tired and his right leg was going to sleep due to Brian leaning against him, but Arin didn’t mind. He’s always willing to put up with anything to comfort a friend.

“Have you ever thought of telling Dan how you feel?” Arin finally broke the silence. He often wondered what Dan’s feelings towards Brian. He was always talking about Brian, thankful for everything he’s done, a massive smile on his face, and bright eyes. It seemed like there was something behind that, Dan always spoke about his friends in a positive way, but there was something about the way he spoke about Brian that was different. Sometimes he seemed to be a lot more careful about what he said and other times he would ramble, as if he wanted to say something important but wasn’t sure how.

Brian nodded. He’d often thought about telling Dan. At first he let himself think of positive outcomes because it made him happy but as time went by that happiness went away and negative thoughts filled his mind.

“Have you ever thought that you should actually tell him how you feel?”

Brian shook his head, his eyes wide with fear. He couldn’t handle what might happen.

“Ever thought he might genially feel the same way?”

Brian just stared blankly at Arin. Yes, he had those fantasies but he never tricked himself into thinking Dan would ever feel the same way. Arin on the other hand seemed to be fooled.

“I mean he acts so different around you. I’ve never really thought about it but yeah, you should tell him. I mean, even if he doesn’t feel the same he would never hate you or anything, and if he does feel the same way, y’know that’d be pretty cool.”

Brian rolled his eyes at how hopeful and naïve Arin sounded. If he told Dan there was no way everything would be all peaches and cream, things would be different. Dan would treat him differently, would be careful around him. Plus, their music videos would change. Brian had been adding little hints that maybe Ninja Brian had a think for guys, for Danny, and it was funny, the fans ate it up but his actual crush could go unnoticed. People would notice if that changed and Brian didn’t want it to change, it added something to the videos and honestly he’d read some interesting fan theories.

“Think about it okay. Unless you do something things aren’t going to be any different, apart from you’ll get more and more upset.”

Arin finished packing up equipment before going to leave, giving Brian another hug before going.

“If you need to talk about things I’m here for you buddy.”

Brian thought about it that night, tossing and turning as he tried to sleep but failed. He knew Arin was right, if he didn’t do anything he would just end up feeling worse and that could also lead to terrible things. Arin was also right that Dan wouldn’t be mad and would try to teach him the same. By the time Brian had thought up all the pros and cons, mental arguing everything, it was almost six in the morning and he saw no reason in trying to get some sleep when he had to go to the Grump space to see Dan in two hours so they could discuss new material for the albums they were planning. Why they were going so early Brian didn’t know, but Dan’s sleep schedule was fucked so Brian could make an educated guess that Dan was also awake right now. Brian wondered what he would be thinking about, if he was lying in bed or if he was working. Maybe he was just listening to music, shaking his hips slightly, maybe dancing a little more that he let himself around people. He looks ridiculous, falling over his long legs, and he just laughs at himself.  
Brian smiles at that thought. He hoped Danny was happy, and he hoped that he would never be the one to ruin that happiness, he’d done it before when he left and was still trying to make it up to him, even if Dan didn’t know it, so he hoped tomorrow wouldn’t ruin everything.

Brian was slightly late, he remembered making himself coffee at around seven and next thing he knew it was five minutes to eight. He couldn’t remember falling asleep but that must have been what happened. When he arrived around fifteen minutes late it seemed that Dan hadn’t been waiting that long, and he smiled at his friend in acknowledgement.  
They started talking about new songs, trying to write lyrics to some of the titles they’d come up with as well as thinking of what songs to cover, they’d come up with half the track list already but there were so many great songs it was hard to narrow it down.

Brian couldn’t focus anyway; all he could think about was how to bring his crush up. Dan could tell something was up and he called for a break, making coffee for Brian and tea for himself as well as gabbing some snacks.

“So what’s up?” Dan questioned, trying to be subtle about the fact that he knew Brian had something on his mind.

“Um, well I need to talk to you about something,” Brian knew this was for the best but he was still terrified. Danny was also terrified; the last time Brian had said that to him he was moving away to England. He often wondered if Brian missed working in physics, and he never stopped Brian from pursuing it. When he moved Dan held his tongue and didn’t tell Brian about how previous bands of his ended because of people moving away. He knew Brian would stay if he said that and then might grow to resent him if the band didn’t work out, or if he grew unhappy with it. Dan wouldn’t stop Brian from doing what he wanted now. If it would make Brian happy, that’s all Dan cared about.

“I um… I have feelings for you. It’s been a while now and I just… I thought you should know.” Brian tried to look at Dan as he admitted his feelings but it was too hard, he didn’t want to see Dan’s reaction, the floor on the other hand had no reaction, wouldn’t judge him, so he brought his attention there instead.

“Weird, I was talking to Arin the other day about you, and he said how it sounds like I’m in love with you sometimes.” Dan let out a small chuckle.  
“I thought about it yesterday, I hadn’t really thought about it before, but he was right.”  
Brian couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and swore that lack of sleep was making him hear what he wanted to hear. Still his glaze returned to Danny, whole was flashing a nervous smile.

“Bri, I feel the same way. I think I have for a while too.”

Brian let his impulse come over him as he leaned in and kissed his best friend of almost of decade.

In the end he was right that if he told Dan how he felt things would change, but it wasn’t like he’d imagined. It was for the best that things changed, now that they weren’t hiding how they felt they were a lot happier and worked better. Everyone was so supportive of their relationship, they did keep it secret from the fans, and planned to for a while, the theories just became a lot more amusing now they actually were dating and Brian and Danny would tend to read them when cuddling in-between working. Brian couldn’t believe he had been missing out on this but he knew it was better that he waited. If he hadn’t Dan might not have figured out how he felt, and then things could have ended. He didn’t really believe in fate, but Brian could stretch his beliefs for a moment and think that maybe there was a reason things turned out this way, okay he couldn’t but Dan thought that and Brian was willing to pretend to go along with it.


End file.
